Jokes for the Folks: Let Her, Man!

The “Monday Night Football” game on ESPN this past week was the most-watched show in cable-TV history, drawing some 22 million viewers. Most of Brett Favre’s fans turned the game off after the first Cialis commercial, however.

The victory over his old team, the Green Bay Packers, made Favre the first quarterback in history to win a game against all 32 NFL franchises. The next record he wants: to be the first player to retire from all 32 teams!

Tom Delay has withdrawn from “Dancing With The Stars,” and the network wants you to believe that his dropping out was due to stress fractures in both his feet. Not true! Here at NCV we have it on good authority that Democrats and liberals forced the program to oust him in a vast “right foot conspiracy.”

The Democrat Party is in complete panic mode, disorganized and clueless. Yesterday President Obama credited employees of the National Counterterrorism Center just outside Washington, DC with helping to make “real progress” against extremist networks. The Dems were thrilled until they realized Obama was not talking about Glenn Beck and Fox News.

The David Letterman scandal is so sleazy, so slimy, so pathetically boorish that we hesitate to touch it for fear of catching the swine flu. Forever blurring the line between “executive assistant” and “high-priced call-girl,” we don’t absolve any of the groupies - er – staff members, for getting involved with the ever-popular host. Weeks ago we opined that Mr. Letterman would do just about anything for ratings (see “Here’s A Thought: Civil Engineering”), and some called us on the carpet for being too harsh.

Now apologies and awkward jokes about having sex with “many” of his underlings have pumped up ratings! It’s the new strategy for TV comedy: child rape jokes and seedy affairs with co-workers! Maybe the recently renewed attempt to extradite Roman Polanski is to bring him back to Hollywood to host a prime time show? Our favorite line in Dave’s “apology” was, “I’m telling you (the viewers) about this to protect my family.” Right. I bet they feel safe now!

In a related story, Regis Philbin wants $2 Million, or he’ll release video of himself actually getting along with Dave backstage before a taping.

The latest: Letterman and Stephanie Birkett were together at Dave’s Montana ranch before and after his marriage to Regina Lasko. It’s so smarmy! Now Regina knows that when her husband was talking about “tumbling tumbleweeds,” Dave’s nickname for Steph was: “Tumbleweeds!”

Is there any politician more desperate than a Democrat in Washington, DC? There sure is, and he’s a Republican to boot! California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is now fully in support of Barack Obama’s health care reform package – whatever it’s going to be (as of this writing, nobody knows). The crack staff knew something was up with Arnold and health care reform when they noticed he no longer said, “I’ll be back.” Nowadays he says, “Oh, my back!”

Norway topped the list of “best places to live in the world, followed by Australia and Iceland. The USA came in 13th, mostly because we have the United Nations based here.

And finally, believe it or not, a group of conservatives is editing the Bible. Why? Because they think it’s too “progressive.” It all started with a new translation of the Good Book, which said that God tweeted the 10 Commandments to Moses. Another problem arose with a passage that claimed Jonah caught the whale in an episode of “The Deadliest Catch,” and someone found an adaptation claiming The Last Supper took place in “Hell’s Kitchen.”

Also check out Taylor's Here's a Thought column:

David Letterman Brett Farve and Tom Delay on Dancing with the Stars

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	Home Features Humor Relationships Faith Entertainment Society Blogs Columns Online Bible NCV's Writers's Guidelines Search Columns Here’s a Thought: Opening Act By Taylor Mason For those of you not familiar with how I roll: I’ve been a comedian for 25-plus years and been an “opening act” for a variety of performers. Some highlights. ... Here's a Thought: Death by Cancer By Taylor Mason My sister-in-law passed away last Thursday, felled by cancer after a seven-year battle. She was a dignified, lovely, inspiring wife and mother who beat the odds over and over again. Time Out: Safety ‘Net By Patty Elder Summer in DC means storms, and storms mean power outages. And power outages bring out my worst fear, and it's NOT the dark. ... Here’s a Thought: Hot Enough for Ya? By Taylor Mason The heat was debilitating this summer, so much so that the word “hot” doesn’t do justice to the grades of temperature we've sweated these past few months. Time Out: Make Yourself at Home By Cara Garretson It’s beach week, and so far so good. We bust into our rented beach house and it looks great – the bathrooms are sparkling, the décor is charming, the kitchen is retro. ... Home » Society » Jokes for the Folks: Let Her, Man! Jokes for the Folks: Let Her, Man! October 08, 2009 By Taylor Mason The “Monday Night Football” game on ESPN this past week was the most-watched show in cable-TV history, drawing some 22 million viewers. Most of Brett Favre’s fans turned the game off after the first Cialis commercial, however. The victory over his old team, the Green Bay Packers, made Favre the first quarterback in history to win a game against all 32 NFL franchises. The next record he wants: to be the first player to retire from all 32 teams! Tom Delay has withdrawn from “Dancing With The Stars,” and the network wants you to believe that his dropping out was due to stress fractures in both his feet. Not true! Here at NCV we have it on good authority that Democrats and liberals forced the program to oust him in a vast “right foot conspiracy.” The Democrat Party is in complete panic mode, disorganized and clueless. Yesterday President Obama credited employees of the National Counterterrorism Center just outside Washington, DC with helping to make “real progress” against extremist networks. The Dems were thrilled until they realized Obama was not talking about Glenn Beck and Fox News. The David Letterman scandal is so sleazy, so slimy, so pathetically boorish that we hesitate to touch it for fear of catching the swine flu. Forever blurring the line between “executive assistant” and “high-priced call-girl,” we don’t absolve any of the groupies - er – staff members, for getting involved with the ever-popular host. Weeks ago we opined that Mr. Letterman would do just about anything for ratings (see “Here’s A Thought: Civil Engineering”), and some called us on the carpet for being too harsh. Now apologies and awkward jokes about having sex with “many” of his underlings have pumped up ratings! It’s the new strategy for TV comedy: child rape jokes and seedy affairs with co-workers! Maybe the recently renewed attempt to extradite Roman Polanski is to bring him back to Hollywood to host a prime time show? Our favorite line in Dave’s “apology” was, “I’m telling you (the viewers) about this to protect my family.” Right. I bet they feel safe now! In a related story, Regis Philbin wants $2 Million, or he’ll release video of himself actually getting along with Dave backstage before a taping. The latest: Letterman and Stephanie Birkett were together at Dave’s Montana ranch before and after his marriage to Regina Lasko. It’s so smarmy! Now Regina knows that when her husband was talking about “tumbling tumbleweeds,” Dave’s nickname for Steph was: “Tumbleweeds!” Is there any politician more desperate than a Democrat in Washington, DC? There sure is, and he’s a Republican to boot! California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is now fully in support of Barack Obama’s health care reform package – whatever it’s going to be (as of this writing, nobody knows). The crack staff knew something was up with Arnold and health care reform when they noticed he no longer said, “I’ll be back.” Nowadays he says, “Oh, my back!” Norway topped the list of “best places to live in the world, followed by Australia and Iceland. The USA came in 13th, mostly because we have the United Nations based here. And finally, believe it or not, a group of conservatives is editing the Bible. Why? Because they think it’s too “progressive.” It all started with a new translation of the Good Book, which said that God tweeted the 10 Commandments to Moses. Another problem arose with a passage that claimed Jonah caught the whale in an episode of “The Deadliest Catch,” and someone found an adaptation claiming The Last Supper took place in “Hell’s Kitchen.” Also check out Taylor's Here's a Thought column: National Brotherhood Week Remix No Place Like Gnome Man's Work I 'Played' College Football All Porn is Child Porn End of Summer, But No End of Hate Summertime, And The Livin’ Is Sleazy Dog Days of Summer Here's to Your Health Reform Comedy Clubs Women's Intuition Summer of Hate, Part II Conspiracy of Dunces Summer of Hate Sales Pitch I Slam You, Slam We All, Slam for Islam Revolution #999 Civil Engineering 'Cause the Bible Told Me So Dr. Death It's a Gas, Gas, Gas Nuke-Lee-Ar vs. Nuke-Yu-Ler ABORT! ABORT! Sicko Fancy Mad Cow Healthy, Wealthy and Lies Brainstorm E-I-E-I-O Play Ball! Old News Middle-East Madness Leads to The FATA Four Bernie Made Off Manipulating the Market Rush (Limbaugh) to Judgement Share: Del.icio.us \| Digg \| Reddit \| Stumbleupon \| Permalink Comments Tue, 07/20/2010 - 10:39pm rgwbiwljbkm (not verified) BkbNnHYtVLS T9EWwe diycatqqzoqk, [url=http://jibjmwoqbwpi.com/]jibjmwoqbwpi[/url], [link=http://wqxctexhwgir.com/]wqxctexhwgir[/link], http://vjczqugcjiak.com/ Login or register to post comments All contents copyright © 2008, Digital Publishing Corporation. All rights reserved. Advertise with us! HOME \| ABOUT US \| CONTACT US \| PRIVACY POLICY \| TERMS OF USE \| RSS \| RULES OF CONDUCT