Columns

One of my favorite Beatles tunes is Yesterday. But when I sing along to it these days, it seems a rewrite is in order. Maybe something like:
I went to see Avatar today. And I sorta loved it. James Cameron, his team and his movie have dazzled me.
Sunday night I flew to Las Vegas and performed for some 3,000 people. I did “my job” but wasn't paid, at least not the way I am at my other gigs.
Nobody is interested in your personal phone calls. Invading my audio space is as rude as invading my physical space.
Against my better judgment, I am training for a half marathon this spring. And it’s not what I expected.

Fired Up Bacon

September 24, 2008

I don’t normally get political, but I couldn’t help but get involved when I heard the offensive words of Barack Obama this past week. For those of you who allow your attention to be diverted from the real issues to trivial things like the economy, the war and health care, let me bring you back to reality. Senator Obama dropped a bomb recently when he stated, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” Well, as you can imagine, the swine community is outraged.

As a supporter of all things hog, I was deeply offended. Just when you think our country has moved beyond its pork intolerance, a careless unkosher comment destroys everything we’ve worked for. Before I move on with this, I’d like to point out some hypocrisy that has been displayed in this election. Why is it that a pig with lipstick is just a pig, but a pit bull with lipstick gets to be a hockey mom? Blatant unfairness.

Have we learned nothing from the revolutionary film Charlotte’s Web? A pig is more than a pig. A pig is “Terrific,” “Radiant,” and, yes, “Some Pig." I know Senator Obama went to Harvard, but I wonder what elementary school he went to. There’s a reason this is a required reading, and obviously the point was not driven home.

What I want to know is, what does Senator Obama have to say to the pig who does wear lipstick and is so much more than a pig: Miss Piggy? She is an actress, a singer, a spokesperson, an icon. She crossed cultural lines with her controversial relationship with Kermit the Frog. She opened many doors for others such as Babe, Pumbaa, and Hamm (from Toy Story). She wouldn’t even have had her opportunity if it weren’t for such trailblazers as Porky and the original lipstick wearer, Petunia Pig.

I’m not asking the politicians to be Pro-Swine, but I want them to be more aware. Obama is not the only culprit. I believe Sarah Palin has been heard telling her kids to clean their room because it looks like a “pig sty." Unless they have spent time in a pen or shared from the troughs, they will never understand the hardship of the American pig. You may think your words are cute and effective, but they are creating an unwelcome pig roast. I just hope that this faux pas will continue to dominate the news and to be addressed in the debates so that America can wake up to the injustices brought to our pork community.

Dave Hopping is in the musical comedy duo "Dave and Brian" (www.DaveAndBrian.com). You'll never guess which one he is. He's done comedy all over the country for colleges, comedy clubs, churches, conferences, and any place else that begins with a "C."

pigs.jpg


Comments

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <b> <i> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <object> <param> <embed> <blockquote> <sup> <sub> <strike>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options