Jokes for the Folks: Information Station

The times, they are a-changin! According to a new poll, about one-third of Americans under the age of 40 believe that shows like "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" are replacing "traditional" news outlets. Another third just ask their moms. And the final third? They get their news from the most reliable source there is, right here at New Christian Voices!

This coincides with an online study done by a certain Virgil Griffith of Cal Tech, who surmises that by checking out musical tastes and corresponding college educations on Facebook, one can discern what kind of music smart people listen to and what kind of music dumb people listen to. The smart: Beethoven, Ben Folds, Sufjan Stevens, Counting Crows and Guster. The dumb: Lil’ Wayne, Beyonce, Soca, and gospel music. I was personally disappointed because my favorites, The Wiggles, weren’t even mentioned!

More virtual reality: at his virtual town hall meeting, President Obama said the Big Three automakers have to change their ways. This is good news for the auto industry, since everyone has been referring to them as “The Small Three.” The Chief also said the ideal path to universal health care is to build on the current employer-based system and not imitating the European system. For proof he uploaded a picture of Amy Winehouse.

The Prez doesn't believe that legalizing marijuana is a good strategy for turning around the economy. He’s lucky NCV wasn’t there because then he didn’t have to answer our follow-up question: “If that’s true, Mr. President, why is the Cheech and Chong reunion tour sold out?”

We were very happy to hear his opening statement, in which Mr. Obama said he would make sure the banks had money to lend. So hop to it America! If you call your bank right now, the automated system will connect you with a loan officer ... sometime in November, 2011!

The President also held his second prime-time press conference this week. Our favorite moment? It came when our fearless leader stared down a CNN reporter! We haven’t seen an icy stare like that in the White House since, well; we have to go back to the day Bill Clinton confessed to Hillary.

Kentucky Fried Chicken has offered to fill up potholes throughout Louisville in return for the right to stamp the newly repaired holes with the slogan, “Re-freshed by KFC.” That’s only fair since the potholes are caused by extra-heavy cars carrying people who eat a lot of KFC.

The Farrelly brothers confirm their new movie version of "The Three Stooges" may star Sean Penn as Larry, Jim Carrey as Curly and Benicio Del Toro as Moe. HUH? That’s what happens when you spend all of your money on special effects and have to leave the casting to a Magic 8-ball.

How about this? Kiefer Sutherland has signed on for another year as Jack Bauer in the FOX-TV hit “24.” Next season offers something new, as Bauer spends all 24 hours sitting at home, eating Bundt cake and watching “The View.”

Notre Dame University faced a real problem with their choice for a graduation speaker but decided to keep President Obama as the man, despite his views on abortion and stem cell research. Look, they’re Catholic, we understand. Christ wasn’t available, so they got the one other guy who can walk on water.

Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice addressed the NFL owners Sunday in Dana Point, California. So let’s get this straight: the NFL owners meet in the one part of the country that wouldn’t support an NFL team? (Orange County) That’s like the Republicans holding their next convention in Nancy Pelosi’s living room.

Taylor Mason is a comedian, a musician, a ventriloquist and a writer (he can’t seem to hold a real job). He has headlined every major comedy club in the United States, and has played Carnegie Hall and The Sydney Opera House in Australia. He has been part of two Emmy-winning television programs, including his children’s TV show, “Taylor’s Attic.” He is featured in comedy DVDs "Thou Shalt Laugh," "Thou Shalt Laugh 2" and "Thou Shalt Laugh 3," plus two episodes of the hit comedy series “Bananas.” Taylor works a mind-boggling 200 nights a year, in front of every kind of audience, and has managed to stay married for the past 22 years to his wife, Marsia. They have two teen-aged sons and live in New Jersey (the only state in America that uses air freshener … outdoors).