The Ultimate 'Me' Time

Last summer, a group of women at my church decided to start a Bible study for mothers of young children. I had only dabbled in Bible study before but this group – mostly friends who were also doing the work/husband/kids juggle – sounded like it was a good fit for me.

I had no idea.

We decided we would meet on Thursday evenings at the Church, so no one would have to clean their house. We would take turns bringing finger food, so no one would have to turn on an oven. And we would hire a babysitter to take the kids to the playground so we could actually look each other in the eye as we talked. Perfect.

Then the question came up, what should we study?

Study? Oh right, this is Bible study, not Bunco.

I had a suggestion, which came to me one Sunday morning as I attempted (and failed) to look decent for church, while my daughters decided to change their outfits for the third time, needing zipping again, and my husband muttered “Where is my Bible?” while tearing apart the closet. How about something about balance? You know, striking that harmonious chord amid those important life priorities like work and home, husband and kids, housework and napping? Great idea, the other moms agreed.

Great indeed, I thought, knowing in the back of my mind that “balance” is a mother’s euphemism for more ‘me’ time. Not more quality time with the kids, not stolen romantic moments with the husband, not quiet walks in the woods with the dog….just me, doing whatever I want for more than six minutes at a time.

Our group’s first meeting came, and one member set the tone for our study. “The last generation of women fought hard to have it all. But our generation feels like we have it all, and we don’t want it all, and please can we give some back?” she said.

Exactly. This was going to be good.

But after the first meeting, when I got home and opened the study workbook -- aptly named “Finding Balance,” a part of the Sisters Bible Study for Women series – I realized I would be learning about a different kind of balance – not more me time, but more time understanding and growing my faith, and balancing that priority with the demands of the modern world.

At first I thought “Great. Just what I need, one more thing to do.” But it ended up being exactly what I needed because, as I learned, exploring my faith is much more rewarding than doing Pilates or getting a seaweed wrap. It is, I now know, the ultimate me time.

One night after a Bible study meeting, I went for drinks (interesting sequence, I know) with some girlfriends and couldn’t help gushing about how much I enjoyed my new study group. While some of my friends at the table were churchgoers and seemingly comfortable discussing religion, my gushing managed to completely halt conversation. “I thought you were Jewish,” one friend finally said. I quickly changed the subject to something more suburban momish – probably the swim meet schedule – but I knew a switch was flipped for me.

During those six weeks of Bible study I made wonderful friendships with people from very different backgrounds; I felt comfortable sharing my decidedly non-religious upbringing; I cried openly and with abandon, and no one flinched. I talked about how yoga (see Letting Go) and meditation strengthen my faith, and learned new and different ways to pray.

Our 5pm meetings would last well into twilight, when finally our kids would bust into the church basement fresh from the playground, covered in sweat, demanding popsicles, and break the spell. My ‘me’ time was over for another week, but those few hours were all I needed to help me turn the coming week into quality time … albeit six minutes at a time.

Cara Garretson regularly chooses napping over housework at her home near Washington, DC. If you're a corporate IT manager, you can read her work on her day job, but you'd probably enjoy her DC Suburban Moms blog more.