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Columns
It snowed last night. Snow is a curse. Snow is evil. Snow is what happens when the atmosphere solidifies and falls on your head.
To all expectant moms, I’d like to say: Welcome to the New Normal.
Winter is clearly here, but it's not just the weather that's been getting colder. Some recent news stories reveal a good amount of frost seeping into society, as well.
This year I’m asking extra help from God on the requisite “get in shape” resolution. I’m praying for the metabolism of a hummingbird. Is that so wrong?
Here it is, as concise as I can make it: 10 rules that will see you (and me) through 2009 and beyond.
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CHRISTMAS CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST ––
Now through Christmas Eve, we're giving away a prize package of clean comedy (DVDs, books, etc.) every day to one lucky NCV reader, drawn at random, from each day's entries in our Twelve Laughs of Christmas Cartoon Caption Contest! The prizes will vary but may include the complete three-DVD set of Thou Shalt Laugh — featuring our own Taylor Mason and Teresa Roberts Logan — the newly released Best of Brad Stine DVD, books by Martha Bolton, new releases from The Comedy Bus, and more! Click the headline above, then the link at the bottom...
Brad Stine in USA Today - December 10th, 2008 at 1:46pm
USA Today writer Mark I. Pinsky penned a piece this week about religious humor, and included in the editorial is our own columnist Brad Stine. Pinsky called Brad "an angry, braying stand-up comic whose best-known venues are Promise Keepers rallies that have drawn thousands of evangelical Christian men to coliseums. He once admonished conservative churches that were burning Harry Potter books: 'Here's a good rule of thumb: If Hitler tried it — maybe go the other way.' His first book was titled Being a Christian Without Being an Idiot: 10 Assumed Truths That Make Us Look Stupid."
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On my blog at Beliefnet.com, I did a post called You Might Be A Christian Music Fan If ...
In it, I listed some stereotypical Christian music things, like:
... you didn't let your kids listen to the Jonas Brothers, until you found out they were Christians.
... you did let your kids listen to David Archuleta, until you found out he was Mormon.
... you cried when the American Idol contestants sang "Shout To The Lord" on national television.
... you'll go see Third Day play at a mega-church but won't go see them at your local concert arena.
Can yo...
Our own ventriloquist and comedian Taylor Mason hits the Big Apple next week for a month-long run at HA! Comedy Club in NYC. The show starts next Tuesday, December 9th, and runs through January 4th. Taylor brings his collection of puppets for this all ages holiday spectacular.
If you've seen Taylor perform live, you know the show is not only loaded with laughs, but involves a lot of audience participation, so this promises to be a great time.
For more information, including ticket prices, visit HA! Comedy Club's website. To learn more about our favorite ventriloquist, vist Tay...
I'm having some fun over at my Gospel Soundcheck blog at Beliefnet.com, piggybacking on a fun blog post Matthew Paul Turner did on is Jesus Needs New PR blog.
Head over to the Gospel Soundcheck blog and share your answer to "You might be a Christian music fan if ..."
It's all in good fun. Hey, we're allowed to poke fun at ourselves. If we don't, someone else will ...
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Our own Taylor Mason makes another appearance on the third installment of "Thou Shalt Laugh," hosted by Sinbad. Taylor has appeared on all three "Thou Shalt Laugh" DVDs.
The DVD sold 5,000 in it's first week of release, with no advertising! The "Thou Shalt Laugh" franchise is the best selling Christian comedy. That's great, and just further proves that we've stocked our NCV columnist line up with the best of the best.
You can get "Thou Shalt Laugh 3" in stores now.
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I KNEW IT! ABC has "not renewed" the shows "Pushing Daisies" and "Eli Stone," both extremely well-done, humorous shows that are done with style, intelligence and class. So of course they have to cancel them.
Whenever I find a show that I like - and trust me, I actually plan my evening around these two shows - they're canceled. "Joan of Arcadia" and "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" are two that come to mind right away.
Rats. I'm really disappointed.
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Christian artist Go Fish hit the road this month on their "Christmas With A Capital C" tour. The tour takes its title from a song on their 2006 Christmas album, Snow.
“This song unapologetically reminds people that Christmas is about the birth of Christ,” says Go Fish founding member Jamie Statema. “The whole point of 'Christmas With A Capital C' is to show that this annual debate is about something much bigger than just whether or not to say ‘Merry Christmas.’ It's about an ongoing effort to remove God from our American culture. We decided it was time to take...
Hey, NCV readers! Now you can network with NCV on your favorite social networking site:
Become a fan of NCV on Facebook
Be our friend at Shoutlife
Follow us on Twitter
Be our MySpace friend
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Pregnant "man" pregnant again - November 15th, 2008 at 10:31am
Seriously, I'm totally creeped out. I read a press release announcing that the pregnant "man" is pregnant again.
Thomas Beatie was born a woman, but at 34 she ... he ... "underwent multiple medical treatments to biologically, socially and legally re-identify as a man," according to a press release. The only thing he ... she ... didn't change was his ... her ... reproductive organs. He ... she ... wanted to someday have a baby. When Beatie married, his ... the wife, Nancy, was unable to have children, so viola! They took advantage of Beatie's uterus and spawned.
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My Erma conference pal Kelsey Timmerman is getting ready to release his book, Where Am I Wearing? and TIME magazine reviewed it. (Scroll all the way to the bottom.) Way to go, Kelsey!
Here's the book description:
Ninety-seven percent of our clothes are made overseas. Yet globalization makes it difficult to know much about the origin of the products we buy--beyond the standard "Made in" label. So journalist and blogger Kelsey Timmerman decided to visit each of the countries and factories where his five favorite items of clothing were made and meet the workers. He kne...
I confess that I didn't even stay up to watch the election returns last night. While I held out a tiny hope my candidate would pull off a miracle, at heart I knew the race was over.
Did I wake up angry that my candidate lost? Am I in fear of what will happen to my country? Of course not. I live in AMERICA, the land of the free and the home of the brave, where our founding fathers built a republic and forged a Constitution that allowed for checks and balances and the right of the people to elect leaders who best represent their views.
Here in America, we wage a fierce campaign and...
NCV takes on Election 2008 - November 1st, 2008 at 5:30pm
If you thought you knew what Christians had to say about Election 2008, think again. At www.NewChristianVoices.com we've let our columnists and writers sound off on both sides of the red/blue aisle. Here are links to some of the most popular essays:
The Raving Redhead: Dr. Dobson and Mr. Hyde
By Teresa Roberts Logan
I'm a fan of cheesy horror stuff. But Dr. James Dobson’s “Letter From 2012" was too scary, even for me.
http://www.newchristianvoices.com/column/the-raving-redhead-dr-dobson-and-mr-hyde
Obama Reminds Me of a Teenager
By Dan Kulp
I love teenagers, I just d...
OK, so Brad Stine doesn't belong to us here at NCV, even though I'd like to think so. But we are so fortunate to have him as a columnist that I get really excited when other people share our enthusiasm.
Brad's film, The Apostles of Comedy, which also stars Jeff Allen, Anthony Griffith, and Ron Pearson, was released in September on DVD, and the funny foursome have hit the road with the Apostles of Comedy tour.
In a press release posted at MarketWatch, Rick Warren, author of New York Times Best Seller A Purpose Driven Life and pastor at Saddleback Church in California, said, "...
There's a video called The Front Fell Off making the rounds, of an Australian politician being interviewed about a tanker accident that spilled 20,000 gallons of crude oil into the ocean.
It's hilarious and could be a Saturday Night Live skit - that's because, according to Snopes.com, it is a skit from the 1990s from Australian comedy duo John Clarke and Brian Dawe. The two often did skits based on mock interviews, with Clarke playing the beleagured politician being grilled by interviewer Dawe.
Check out the video at the ChristianHumorWriters.com blog. It's not true, but it's ...
FoxNews.com reports that a woman in Connecticut has sued L'Oreal, claiming the company ruined her life when she accidentally dyed her hair brunette. The article says she "can never return to her natural blonde hue, a shock that left her so traumatized she needed anti-depressants." The woman, Charlotte Feeney of Stratford, CT, says she "missed the attention that blondes receive and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time."
Gee, that poor thing. Maybe I can use that excuse sometime. "Your Honor, I was speeding because I needed to get home before someon...
Here's a Thought: Pig Out! - September 24th, 2008 at 11:30am
Much has been made of Barack Obama’s comment that “if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig,” referring to Republican VP candidate, Sarah Palin.
First things first. What Senator Obama should have used is the old five-legged horse analogy. It goes something like this: We all know that a horse has four legs. But what if I called the horse’s tail a leg? Then he’d have five legs, right? Wrong. It doesn’t matter what you CALL something, the horse still has four legs.
This is sad on so many levels I won’t get into them all. But most important: I’m a man who wo...
We just got word that FamilyNet television begins a new weekly series tonight, Saturday September 13, called "The Venue," and their first show features Brad Stine's "Tolerate This!"
FamilyNet programming is available across the United States on broadcast, cable and telephone company channels. Visit their website at http://www.familynet.com/ to find out how you can catch Brad's show!
And don't forget to read Brad's weekly column, The Truth Hurts, right here at NCV!
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Cheesy Christian videos or jokes - September 12th, 2008 at 4:09pm
I've stumbled across two Christian music videos that are either great parodies of Christian music or very sad example of CHristian music history. Unfortunately, one is real (and only a year old!). The other? I hope it's a joke ... you can read the whole story at my Gospel Soundcheck blog.
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September 11 - September 11th, 2008 at 9:29am
Has it been seven years since terrorists took down the World Trade Center buildings, hit the Pentagon, and crashed in a field in Pennsylvania? Sometimes it seems like it was a million years ago, and at other times it feels like just yesterday.
I remember that day so clearly, watching the towers get hit, hearing the news that there'd been an explosion at the Pentagon, then watching the towers fall to the ground.
I think it's important, on this day, to remember everything that happened on 9/11 so that we don't start veering off into lunatic conspiracy theories that our own govern...
LOST AND FOUND - September 11th, 2008 at 9:34am
There's a series of products and services available to help people recover lost or stolen items like cars, computers, cameras, or cell phones. These programs will not only track missing items, some help the owner erase sensitive information on the missing item – like a laptop or cell phone - thereby protecting the owner from identity theft. Sounds like a wonderful idea.
Following along these lines, I have gathered a group of scientists, who are developing programs for other missing items that cause undue stress and increased financial burden on consumers.
Like socks. I confess I ...
Our own Brad Stine, along with funny guys Jeff Allen, Anthony Griffith and Ron Pearson, star in the "Apostles of Comedy: The Movie," which releases today on DVD.
All four have honed their craft in secular entertainment venues, yet because of their personal beliefs, have kept their comedy clean and free of crude themes. In documentary-style fashion, the "Apostles of Comedy" DVD shows the comedians not only on stage, but at home with their families and in unrehearsed, behind-the-scenes conversations with each other.
The four will head out in November for the Apos...
Four Letter Words - September 5th, 2008 at 4:45pm
Mike and I had a discussion this morning. I used a four letter word and he used a double four letter word.
I mentioned, “Diet,” and he said, “Exer-cise.”
Yuck! Whoops! There’s another four letter word, but it’s appropriate here and I mean it!
Being born in the South, cooking and eating are part of my heritage. In fact, it is considered a competitive sport. Fried chicken – fried anything! – mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans seasoned with bacon drippings, homemade yeast rolls slathered with butter and pecan pie washed down by a tall chilled glass of brewed ...
NCV is on MySpace! - September 3rd, 2008 at 12:15pm
New Christian Voices is now on MySpace! Be our friend - visit us at www.myspace.com/newchristianvoices!
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We're Twittering! - August 16th, 2008 at 6:01pm
Are you twittering? We are! Follow us on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/ncv
And you can follow me, Joanne Brokaw, at Twitter, too:
https://twitter.com/joannebrokaw
...
Chinese confiscate Bibles - September 3rd, 2008 at 10:02am
With all eyes on Beijing China had hoped to put on a good face for the whole world. Well, I hope Americans are paying attention and realize how good we really have it here.
Never mind the stories about athletes taken as toddlers from their families and raised to become Olympic contenders. How 'bout that one gymnast who called her family and wanted to come home, and they told her no? Seems their home and livelihood were given to them by the government as compensation for taking their child at the age of three. She comes home, they're out in the cold.
And how about the coach of the...
Last night's finale of "Last Comic Standing" only proved one thing: the show died a long time ago and forgot to fall down.
Could the opening have been any worse? Tacky? Cheesy? Out of tune? Not funny? Could they have wasted any more time with blathering and pointless flashbacks?
Could I have called the winner any better?
The only surprise was that Louis Ramey was eliminated first. I thought it would come down to Iliza and either Jeff Dye or Louis Ramey. Otherwise, I was pretty much on the money. Winner: Iliza Schlesinger!
With all of the format changes, the lack...
Thank you, America, for proving that, indeed, television viewers want funny comedy with an edge, but not raunchy, stupid crap.
Last night on Last Comic Standing, the 5 finalists were revealed, and I called them: Marcus (who had immunity last week), Iliza Schlesinger, Jeff Dye, Jim Tavare, and Louis Ramey.
I'm going on record that I predict Iliza Schlesinger is going to walk away with the title. She's funny, walks a fine edgy line without crossing over into total raunch, and her delivery is great. I don't find a lot of funny female comics, but I do like her a lot.
I admit I had...
Reuters reports that the world's oldest recorded joke dates back to 1900 B.C. And guess what? It was a potty humor joke.
Surprise!
The joke was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
Uh ... alrighty ...
Second oldest recorded joke? This 1600 BC gag: "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."
Whoa,...
I like to laugh as much as the next person, but I gotta tell ya. I've been really disappointed by this season of "Last Comic Standing." From the get-go the show's been a stinker.
Sure, there have been some funny moments - God's Pottery's off stage interactions with their housemates being the most notable - and there were some really funny comics who tried out. But oddly enough, the funny comics didn't make it through, Pete Lee and Taylor Mason being the two that come to mind immediately.
Instead we got … Andy Hunter? Sean Cullen? Papa CJ? Paul Foote? Ron G? Are you ki...
I knew it was coming. My five children had all been born within a five year period – and four within three years – and I often felt like the little old woman who lived in a shoe. The kids were now approaching their latter teens. It was only a matter of time before the sound of eardrum-piercing music ceased, laundry shrunk from fifteen to a maintainable three loads a week, and the pantry stayed stocked for longer than two hours after returning home from the grocery store.
That day was on the horizon and it would have been a lie to say I wasn’t looking forward to it. I would be abl...
According to author Benita Long, the problem with cookbooks is that they’re all about cooking. She thinks it’s a problem that cookbooks are filled with measurements, recipes, and lists of ingredients.
Seriously.
I'm not sure what a cookbook should be filled with, if not information on how to cook. Maybe instructions on how to hang drywall or install a garbage disposal? The correct way to determine your bra size or a step-by-step guide to coloring your own hair?
According to Long, a cookbook should not only offer information about cooking, but be inspiring as well. Her n...
NCV WRITERS' GUIDELINES - July 10th, 2008 at 5:06pm
NEW CHRISTIAN VOICES is a new non-denominational Christian humor and lifestyle website. This is not your typical conservative Christian website. Yes, we're clean. Yes, we're Christian. But what we want is for our readers to be able to both laugh and stretch outside their comfort zones as they consider their Christian faith in everyday life. We want non-Christians to stop here because they'll laugh and find something interesting to read, and then wonder more about who we are, what we do and what we believe.
In your writing, be real, be vulnerable, and connect with our readers in an hone...
SPOILER ALERT for you TiVo users. I'm going to tell you who went through to the next round of "Last Comic Standing" on last night's semi-finals episode.
I'm a big fan of "Last Comic Standing." Other than "The Office," I can't think of another show that guarantees me at least a few laughs every episode.
Last night's semi-finals of "Last Comic Standing" were a swinging pendulum between funny and really not funny, and of course, I predicted that more not funny comics would get through to the next round than the funny ones. Good grief, who pick...
If you missed last week's episode of Last Comic Standing you missed an audition by puppet comedian Taylor Mason, one of the funniest Christian comics around. The bit he does with the Paco the pig is great.
While he got the call back for the evening show, he didn't make it through to the next round. I guess puppets don't really play well in a 3 minute audition.
Taylor Mason is a pretty well known comic in the Christian community. He appeared on Thou Shalt Laugh DVD with host Patricia Heaton and on the Bananas TV show, and he tours the country. But I suppose a spot on a national ...
Actor Harvey Korman Dies - May 30th, 2008 at 9:26am
Fox News reports this morning that actor Harvey Korman died yesterday at 81, of complications resulting from a ruptured aortic aneurysm he suffered four months ago.
I grew up watching "The Carol Burnett Show," laughing until I cried watching Burnett, Korman, Vicky Lawrence and Tim Conway so it's a sad day when one of those legends of comedy passes away.
You can read more about Harvey Korman here.
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If you missed the season premiere of the summer's funniest reality show, then you missed God's Pottery.
It's clear that they're poking fun at Christianity, but it's also clear they know a lot about the faith. They're not just random comics making jabs at "those Christians."
Described as a Christian acoustic folk duo, these guys either grew up in the church and thought comedy was less expensive than intensive therapy, or saw the opportunity for a bottomless well of comedic material and decided to immerse themselves in the culture, and then parody it.
Either w...
A recent survey by Careerbuilder.com found that 43% of working moms said they would be willing to take a pay cut if they could spend more quality time with their kids.
What I found most interesting were the 57% of women who wouldn't.
The key, of course, is the phrase "quality time." Most people (and I mean men) assume that being home all day with children is, in and of itself, quality time. But not every woman sees it that way.
Think about it. If you're a working mother, you can get up at the crack of dawn, shuffle three kids off to day care and then spend the nex...
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