The Truth Hurts: A New Year Rhyme

'Twas the first week of the New Year, and all through the house

There were ruined new toys and a returnable blouse.

The kids back to school with a long heavy sigh

And momma and me without guilt said “goodbye.”

The take down of nativities and tinsel and trees

And the sweeping and dusting while crawling on sore knees.

No more songs of the Yule could be heard through the air,

And quite frankly at this point I just didn’t care.

I have to remove the outside lights from the gutters,

And being a Christian I can’t repeat what I muttered.

The wife needs my help for the stuff put away,

All the decorations I got out a month ago (but seems like a day).

Tis already darker on our street, as all the lights grow much dimmer,

As the cold creeps through and our anger doth simmer.

This holiday of ours, though festive and bright,

Can never be complete without tension and fights.

There are trips to the dump to throw cardboard in,

'Cause apparently not recycling has a become a new sin.

January is here, which is never that great,

Since it’s cold and crappy and nothing to celebrate.

Did I mention kids growing older and my youngest did bake,

Cookies for Santa, she says she believes (but is fake.)

My daughter, though ten, is becoming a young lady;

She got her first bra and now daddy’s gone crazy.

My son, just thirteen, about his grooming finally cares,

And getting new clothes is no longer that rare.

As each old year passes and a new one breaks through,

I wonder of next Christmas and what we’ll go through.

What will happen with boyfriends and girlfriends and cars,

And heartaches and heartbreaks and breakups and scars?

While momma and me grow older it’s true,

The New Years come quicker and the birthdays do too.

Yet while they’re still home parents and kids will recall,

All the wonderful memories that were had by us all.

Though it’s a pain in the neck to put this stuff away,

I wouldn’t trade it at all for one single day.

Yes, it’s a new year and I can say with big smiles,

What God has in store will be worth all the trials.

So go forth with hope and work through the tears,

I can honestly say thank God for New Years.   

Dubbed "God's comic" by The New Yorker magazine, comedian Brad Stine brings his irreverent, edgy, and politically incorrect message to both mainstream and church audiences across the nation. His fifth DVD, "The Best of Brad Stine," features the best material from his previous releases, "Put A Helmet On!," "Conservative Unleashed," "Tolerate This!" and "Wussification". These, along with Brad's latest release, Apostles of Comedy, are available here at the New Christian Voices Clean Comedy Store:

Read more of Brad's The Truth Hurts columns:

• A Year Again?
• What Time Is It?
• Conspiracy Theory (Revisited)
• "Christmas with a Capital C"
• Season's Insincere Greetings
• Thinking of Thanks
• Do I Have to Bite My Tongue?
• The Glass Is Overflowing with Emptiness (Revisited)
• Understanding the 'Weak' Days
• Lazy Words
• Updated Idioms
• Where's the War?
• I Hate Politics
• I Hear You Are Deaf
• Ah, Modern Flight
• Dance Funnyboy, Dance!
• Live Nude Protesters
• How to Fall Asleep in Church
• The New Rude
• I Hate Loving People
• Have a Nice Day
• Midget Minds
• Dying in Your Sleep
• I Hate Funerals
• A 'Hell' of a Word
• Martyr-Man!
• Is Cancer Courageous?
• The Perfect Wife
• What Is Marriage For?
• Traveling by Faith
• Haters and Fascists and Meanies, OH MY! Pt. 3
• Haters and Fascists and Meanies, OH MY! Pt. 2
• Haters and Fascists and Meanies, OH MY!
• Battling Appeasement Theology
• My Autographic Memory
• I’ve Fallen and Broken My Dignity
• So THIS Is Old?
• Where’s Technology When You Need It?
• Whoa-man?