The Raving Redhead: The Drama Bug

When I was a teenager, I had the drama bug. And the comedy bug.

I started my career in performance in the third grade. I was the Evil Stepmother in “The Apple of Contentment” at Evans Elementary School in Memphis, Tennessee. I remember we used a brown clay ball as the stand-in for the apple, and when it was handed to me during our one and only performance (this was not a long run), we dropped it. And it flattened like a pancake. The task fell to me to peel it up off the stage floor, and roll it back in to some semblance of an apple shape while speaking my glorious and undoubtedly profound lines. Yes, from early on, I was a multi-tasker. And apparently, okay at improv.

In high school, I was a drama and art geek. I still am. More art, less drama. I was Lucy in “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown” and one of Brewster sisters in “Arsenic and Old Lace”. Mighta been Abby. Mighta been Martha. Hey, it was a long time ago.

But back then, we could do speech tournaments and win trophies for being good at . . . talking.

There were all kinds of categories, there was Debate, which was a team thing. Those kids had to carry around 3x5s, which came too close to seeming like props to me, so I didn’t want any part of that. And, as much as I like a good argument, I never wanted to be part of a “team” – sounded too much like sports! Though I was on the church softball team once. Learned my lesson! Back to drama.

I stayed away from the kids walking around with 3x5 cards, usually. There was Comedy Interp (I never did that one!) and there was Prose Interp, and many other Interps. See, if you were a speech tournament regular, you never said the word “Interpretation” in its entirety. It was all “Interp.”

I wanted a trophy. And that was not easy in my category. There were some regulars who kicked butt. Cleaned up each time. And I wanted to win a trophy for Briarcrest Baptist High School. And for my mantle.

In Prose Interp, you would read a short story, and sorta act it out. You could do voices. I like doing voices.

One of the regulars was a guy who would read, “The TellTale Heart” by Edgar Allan Poe. This guy was The Twilight Zone incarnate. He had the voice, the presence, and yes, the TROPHIES.  He got first place every time. There was no coming near him.

There were these two other regulars who took turns getting 2nd and 3rd. It was killer.  

Anyway, this guy was amazing. You were riveted every time Telltale Guy did the Poe story. You were riveted, and kinda scared. I can still hear him screaming, “It was the beating of his hideous heart!!” Brrrrrrr. He gave Vincent Price a run for his money. And he was in freakin’ high school.

Maybe he became an actor. Maybe he just went on to sell life insurance, terrifying potential clients with tales of their own hideous hearts. And how they might STOP beating, and how they should be ready for that.

I had to come up with a plan if I was ever going to come close. The best I could possibly hope for was Second Place. Seriously. I might as well have wanted an Oscar in high school as to hope to beat out TellTale Guy.  

This was it: I got wind that one of the judges luh-uh-uhved Ray Bradbury. Aha moment.

I loved me some Ray Bradbury, too, so that worked. I never got to know him personally like our own Martha Bolton, but I loved him all the same.

So, I decided to totally change my repertoire. Which was just one short story, but still. I went and got me a Ray Bradbury book, and I practiced “All Summer In a Day” from my nicely typed pages in my regulation black binder; I practiced the voices, the intonation, the placement of my characters, building the drama, building it slowly and surely so that when the little girl gets let out of the closet at the end, you realize what a horrible tragedy has occurred. And how evil all the other little kids are. (Shoulda given you a spoiler alert there.)

Man, there’s a life lesson. But I didn’t really care. As long as I got my trophy.

And get my trophy, I did. Second Place. Right after Telltale Heart guy. Heck, it was good just to be nominated.

And, standing near him, with my own little Oscar, in my moment of glory and triumph, I was certain, I could hear the beating of his hideous heart.

Teresa Roberts Logan is an artist, writer, and sometimes drama queen who can be found at LaughingRedhead.com. Her humorous products (cards, aprons, mouse pads) can be purchased at Zazzle.com. Her new book of cartoons is “The Older I Get, The Less I Care”, and she has appeared on “Thou Shalt Laugh”, “Bananas”, and “Evening at the Improv”. She is a featured comic on the upcoming DVD release “Comedy Angels” from the producers of “The Apostles of Comedy”. To book Teresa for comedy, go to her website, http://www.LaughingRedhead.com.

Read Teresa's other recent The Raving Redhead columns:

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