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Martha's Laugh Lines: Gone Fishing
By Martha Bolton

When our sons were younger, my husband used to take them fishing a lot. We have scores of pictures of each with their first fish, and for one we have something more.

The Raving Redhead: FREEEEEEDOOOOOMMM!!
By Teresa Roberts Logan

I am willing to try new things ... to look like a fool ... a bigtime fool for thinking I'm funny enough to get paid for it ... and it's a freedom like no other!

Here’s a Thought: Good Theater
By Taylor Mason

The Oscars! What a night! Is there any other business that routinely congratulates itself on being itself?

The Truth Hurts: You Like Me, You Really Like Me!
By Brad Stine

So I sit in a hotel in Seward Alaska minding my own business, when suddenly it dawns on me. … I am making a movie!

Time Out: Why Don’t My Kids Want to “Friend” Me on Facebook?
By Patty Elder

When I was young, the TV had rabbit ears, the cool video game was Pong, and we talked on rotary phones. So how's a mother to raise her kids in the Digital Age?

Martha's Laugh Lines: The Beatles and Middle-Age

February 08, 2010

By Martha Bolton

When I was young, I was a Beatles fan. So much so that my cousin and I walked for miles just to see their Hard Day's Night movie. I still even have my Beatles trading cards that used to come in gum packages. I no longer have my Beatles albums, but that's okay, because I can now buy a CD or listen to their songs on the computer whenever I want.

One of my favorite Beatles tunes is Yesterday. But when I sing along to it these days, it seems a rewrite is in order. Maybe something like:

(Sung to the tune of "Yesterday")

Gravity
Wish this wasn't how things had to be.
Body parts are falling off of me.
Oh, why do we have gravity?

Can you see
how my figure has dropped to my knees?
Not much else is where it used to be
since I lost out to gravity.

Why can't things just stay
where God put them years ago?
All day long I'm warning,
"PEOPLE, LOOK OUT BELOW!"

Gravity
I've been shrinking, now I'm half of me.
I might not stop until I'm four-foot-three.
Oh, why did God make gravity?

I don't know. It just doesn't seem to move me as much as it did back then.

Martha Bolton is an Emmy- and Dove-nominated writer who is the author of over fifty books, including Didn’t My Skin Used to Fit? and Cooking With Hot Flashes. Check out Martha's Zazzle.com store and her titles available below and at the New Christian Voices Clean Comedy Store. She is not yet on Twitter, (though you can follow her via NCV on Twitter), but she does have a Facebook Fan Page.

Read Martha's other recent Laugh Lines columns:

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Martha's Laugh Lines: The Beatles and Middle-Age

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	Home Features Humor Relationships Faith Entertainment Society Blogs Columns Online Bible NCV's Writers's Guidelines Search Columns Martha's Laugh Lines: Gone Fishing By Martha Bolton When our sons were younger, my husband used to take them fishing a lot. We have scores of pictures of each with their first fish, and for one we have something more. The Raving Redhead: FREEEEEEDOOOOOMMM!! By Teresa Roberts Logan I am willing to try new things ... to look like a fool ... a bigtime fool for thinking I'm funny enough to get paid for it ... and it's a freedom like no other! Here’s a Thought: Good Theater By Taylor Mason The Oscars! What a night! Is there any other business that routinely congratulates itself on being itself? The Truth Hurts: You Like Me, You Really Like Me! By Brad Stine So I sit in a hotel in Seward Alaska minding my own business, when suddenly it dawns on me. … I am making a movie! Time Out: Why Don’t My Kids Want to “Friend” Me on Facebook? By Patty Elder When I was young, the TV had rabbit ears, the cool video game was Pong, and we talked on rotary phones. So how's a mother to raise her kids in the Digital Age? Home » Column » Martha's Laugh Lines: The Beatles and Middle-Age Martha's Laugh Lines: The Beatles and Middle-Age February 08, 2010 By Martha Bolton When I was young, I was a Beatles fan. So much so that my cousin and I walked for miles just to see their Hard Day's Night movie. I still even have my Beatles trading cards that used to come in gum packages. I no longer have my Beatles albums, but that's okay, because I can now buy a CD or listen to their songs on the computer whenever I want. One of my favorite Beatles tunes is Yesterday. But when I sing along to it these days, it seems a rewrite is in order. Maybe something like: (Sung to the tune of "Yesterday") Gravity Wish this wasn't how things had to be. Body parts are falling off of me. Oh, why do we have gravity? Can you see how my figure has dropped to my knees? Not much else is where it used to be since I lost out to gravity. Why can't things just stay where God put them years ago? All day long I'm warning, "PEOPLE, LOOK OUT BELOW!" Gravity I've been shrinking, now I'm half of me. I might not stop until I'm four-foot-three. Oh, why did God make gravity? I don't know. It just doesn't seem to move me as much as it did back then. Martha Bolton is an Emmy- and Dove-nominated writer who is the author of over fifty books, including Didn’t My Skin Used to Fit? and Cooking With Hot Flashes. Check out Martha's Zazzle.com store and her titles available below and at the New Christian Voices Clean Comedy Store. She is not yet on Twitter, (though you can follow her via NCV on Twitter), but she does have a Facebook Fan Page. Read Martha's other recent Laugh Lines columns: Thermostat Tango Running Hot and Cold What a Tragedy Things Learned Christmas and Good People Christmas and Good People Helping Santa Making Memories A Practical Christmas Happy "Holiday" Trails to You Turkeys Roasting on an Open Fire Real Health Care Improvements The Menopausal Traveler Class Reunions Luggage Fees Twitter Dee, Twitter Dumb It's the Little Things My Compliments to the Chef The Importance of Mirrors The Ultimate Biography Snakes on a Treadmill Birthdays and Bowling Goodbye, Old Friend You Might Be a Workaholic If ... A Spoonful of Sugar? Broadway for Middle-Agers Heat Wave Symptoms Camping Out The Malady Super Bowl High-Fiving Thighs Affordable Healthcare? Longevity Nothing Like Mom's Cooking! Famous Quotes From Historical Moms Dirt Cheap Close Encounters of the Telephone Pole Kind We Need A Gift Czar I Knew It All Along Makin' Do Up, Up, And Away…But You’re Going To Pay Lend Me An Ear-Mark Music to Our Ears Happy Days are Here Again! Hey, Buddy, Can You Spare a Trillion? Share: Del.icio.us \| Digg \| Reddit \| Stumbleupon \| Permalink Comments Post new comment Your name: * E-mail: * The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Homepage: Subject: Comment: * Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically. Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <b> <i> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <object> <param> <embed> <blockquote> <sup> <sub> <strike> Lines and paragraphs break automatically. More information about formatting options All contents copyright © 2008, Digital Publishing Corporation. All rights reserved. Advertise with us! HOME \| ABOUT US \| CONTACT US \| PRIVACY POLICY \| TERMS OF USE \| RSS \| RULES OF CONDUCT