Bad Mom: Twitter This

According to media measurement firm Nielsen, the social networking site Twitter is experiencing explosive growth. And no wonder. Twitter is a mother’s dream come true. Think about it: life in 140-characters-or-less snippets. Endless opportunities to talk about the mundane minutes of your day. They've even evolved the ubiquitous, once-cryptic computer error messages into actual English, which can be reused for any occasion.

For instance, let’s say your teenager is arguing with you. Maybe he thinks he shouldn’t have to do that missing homework over again. You don’t have to reason with him. You can simply cut him off when he gets to 140 characters—including spaces and punctuation. Trust me, he’ll get used to it. After a while, he’ll even know when to cut himself off.

That’s not all. Where else can you have an audience for tidbits that fascinate you but leave others contemplating their navel lint?

Did the laundry. Stain won’t come out.

Sick and tired of coming home from work just to hear more complaints.

Repairman is late. Doing my nails while I wait.

I am NOT paying for those text messages.

Anyone know how to make homemade playdough?

Three-year-old splashed bathwater all over the floor. Had to clean it up.

And bad moms everywhere can learn a thing or two from Twitter. No more need to lash out at your kids—there’s an appropriate error message for just about every situation.

Is your teen pleading with you to borrow the car? Easy:

“I’m a little overwhelmed right now. Please try again later.”

Your little munchkin catches you on a crying jag?

“Something is technically wrong. Thanks for noticing. We’re going to fix it up and have things back to normal soon.”

Trying to think of a tactful way to tell your child that unflattering drawing of you is not going on the fridge?

“Something went wrong! Please refresh the page and try again.”

Three kids each want something else from you when you simply have nothing left to give?

“Momma’s stressing out right now, so this feature is temporarily disabled.”

 

You can follow Caron Guillo on Twitter. Visit Caron’s A WORK IN PROGRESS blog.