Prop ATE

(Disclaimer: Before you read this, please understand that my weight is the struggle of my life. I’m technically, medically, socially, “overweight.” I like myself, and have a GREAT personality, so don’t cry for me, Argentina, but I just want those of you who are thinness-challenged, that I’m with ya. And that there is no harm meant us by the following blog post. I’m making another point entirely. Hopefully.)

Here goes:

If you are taking away gay marriage rights, because you think it's sin, I think you should also take away buffet rights from all the gluttons.

The buffet bouncer would cut you off after, say, two trips to the food. Because, gluttony is mentioned a ton more than homosexuality is, in the Bible. Let’s take the hint. Heck, it’s what Ezekiel said was one of Sodom’s main issues!

We could have a don’t ask, don’t tell, policy in our Army about the gluttony thing, and if their shoebox stash of cookies was found, they would be dismissed, or court-martialed, depending on the calorie count in the box!  

We could take this gluttony policy further with a DWE policy: Driving While Eating. You would have to appear in court with your Weight Watchers’ representative. Restaurant restraining orders would follow.

We could draft legislation, and Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, could raise millions to fight fatties. We will call it Prop ATE.

Yes, let’s call out gluttony. For the sin that it is. For the offense it causes us in our daily lives. For the harm it does traditional eating institutions.

Let’s call it out, and hold those fatties accountable.

And then, let’s hope we don’t get caught with our hands in the cookie jar.