Columns
Here’s a Thought: Good Theater
By Taylor Mason
The Oscars! What a night! Is there any other business that routinely congratulates itself on being itself?
The Truth Hurts: You Like Me, You Really Like Me!
By Brad Stine
So I sit in a hotel in Seward Alaska minding my own business, when suddenly it dawns on me. … I am making a movie!
Time Out: Why don’t my kids want to “Friend” me on Facebook?
By Patty Elder
When I was young, the TV had rabbit ears, the cool video game was Pong, and we talked on rotary phones. So how's a mother to raise her kids in the Digital Age?
Martha's Laugh Lines: Say ‘Cheese!’
By Martha Bolton
My husband lost a little something on the way to the portrait studio, like his smile. ...
The Raving Redhead: Cart, Then Horse
By Teresa Roberts Logan
I was just reading an article on stupid state laws and came across this one: In New Jersey, it is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest while committing a murder.
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Prop ATE
Prop ATE
April 28, 2009 5:04 PM EDT — Teresa Roberts ...
Here goes: If you are taking away gay marriage rights, because you think it's sin, I think you should also take away buffet rights from all the gluttons. The buffet bouncer would cut you off after, say, two trips to the food. Because, gluttony is mentioned a ton more than homosexuality is, in the Bible. Let’s take the hint. Heck, it’s what Ezekiel said was one of Sodom’s main issues! We could have a don’t ask, don’t tell, policy in our Army about the gluttony thing, and if their shoebox stash of cookies was found, they would be dismissed, or court-martialed, depending on the calorie count in the box! We could take this gluttony policy further with a DWE policy: Driving While Eating. You would have to appear in court with your Weight Watchers’ representative. Restaurant restraining orders would follow. We could draft legislation, and Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, could raise millions to fight fatties. We will call it Prop ATE. Yes, let’s call out gluttony. For the sin that it is. For the offense it causes us in our daily lives. For the harm it does traditional eating institutions. Let’s call it out, and hold those fatties accountable. And then, let’s hope we don’t get caught with our hands in the cookie jar. |
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